Massive Disappointment...really

I am hugely, massively, incredibaly dissapointed in my performance at Grattan tonight.

In fact, I'm not sure what else to say. I'm really upset with myself. I'm not sure I've ever been this disappointed with my own performance in an athletic endeavor.

Normally, I'm a strong supporter of, to quote MC, grinding out "the glorious failure". I figure I need to give it my best...even if my best sucks on any given day. And, today, I quit. And, now I'm upset with myself for quiting.

I had all my friends with me. I had MC there with a shiny new VCC jersey for me to wear. For the first time, I was really a part of the team...and, I quit. I really wanted to be there to help the team. I wanted to impress my friends...Greg, Aaron, Dave, MC, and Aaron were all there with me. But, instead, I parked my bike.

At first I was kind of OK with it...my legs weren't there tonight. I wasn't feeling it. I had done everything wrong to get ready for this race. So, I was sort of OK with accepting my poor performance.

But, the longer I think about it...the more I realize that I just quit. The rest is just excuses.

The rest of the gang rocked! I wanted to share in their battle stories about the sprint at the end and getting a good leadout. But, I wasn't there with them. I watched them all...and, they did awesome! But, still...it would have been cooler to be there with them.

This post is probably going to seem like a real downer...especially since the rest of the VCC team did so well, and had so much fun.

I hope we can get the crew together again for another Wednesday night. I realize now that I don't have any margin for error in my performance. I NEED to take care of myself in order to hang in the group at Grattan. So, I definitely will be taking better care of myself this week.

Full nights of sleep.
No more junk food.
No more pop.
Water. Fruits. Vegetables. Sleep. A good attitude.

VCC team...you guys rock! Next time, I'll be in there with you at the finish!